Wednesday, August 23, 2006

God Bless the Nanny State!



We had a great poster show up in the bathroom at work. Now, this is purely conjecture, and really it means nothing; but I'm willing to bet my workplace mas more M.D.s, Ph.Ds and MD/PhDs per capita than your workplace. I am so glad the Feds at the CDC took the time to help us understand the importance and methods. What in the world would we do without the people who know better than we? Now we don't have to think! They will do it for us! Hold our hands! Chew our foods! Wipe our asses! At last it is all done for us! We truly are The Great Unwashed.

What we NEED is a sign like this that explains how to flush the urinal. Hey! Thanks for leaving your warm, rancid, stagnant piss in the urinal for me. I love it so much when it gets disturbed and atomizes into a mist that wafts up for my olfactoral enjoyment. Yeah, thanks for that!

Or maybe we need one that explains how to close the door to the stall that the urinal is in. Invariably, I march into the restroom with a purposeful gait, make a parabolic arch directly to the urinal and there's a dude in there. So I turn around and the dude coming through the door simply sees me leave a stall that has a dude in it. Is my life really a 3's Company episode?

Yes. Yes it Is.
These people are not dumb, they're assholes.
This might just explain George Michael's luck. I drink a LOT of coffee, people. We need to have ground rules.


~Jimm

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